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Home > Archive, The Rob Report > Republican Party to Change Its Name to The Xfinity Party

Republican Party to Change Its Name to The Xfinity Party

WASHINGTON DC, D.C. (USA)

Leading GOP members have announced the rebirth of the Republican Party, stating that the party as a whole will be dropping the label “Republican” and adopting the new/hip term Xfinity. Leading political analysts believe the switch is a direct result of low rated customer service dating back to the 2000 election, which has resulted in a decade of The Republican Party polled one of the top two hated political parties in America. Shortly after the 2008 election, many prominent conservative personalities like Glenn Beck tried switching to parties with similar small government ideologies, such as The Tea Party and The Libertarian Party. However these attempts were largely unsuccessful, as Beck would later say “a rose by another other name would still Hitler the Nine Eleven Fascist Socialism.”

Analysts are unsure how this recent attempt at re-branding the party will work however, as it seems that all of the services offered by the new Xfinity Party will be exactly the same. “I don’t really see how changing their name to Xfinity is going to change anything.  It’s not like everyone is going to suddenly forget their customer service was terrible, and that they pretend they will save you money but end up jacking up you’re rates when they start a war a year after you sign up. Plus, I really don’t like how they insist on bundle their anti-abortion services together with their small government package. ”  The change is being planned almost immediately, and Mitt Romney is expected to back the new change at this year’s Xfinity National Convention in Tampa Florida, accepting the party’s nomination while dressed as one of the “X-men.”

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