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WWE Forced To Reevaluate Mandatory Cocaine And Steroid Use Policy Following Ultimate Warrior Death

April 10, 2014 Leave a comment

Ultimate WarriorSTAMFORD, CT (USA)

Only days after being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, The Ultimate Warrior, one of professional wrestling’s biggest superstars, has died at 54. The Ultimate Warrior, who was born James Brian Hellwig, legally changed his name to Warrior in 1993, then changed his name again in 2003 to Martha Stewart, then changed it back to Warrior again in 2004. Read more…

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Categories: The Rob Report

Shocking Number of US Pre-Teens Don’t Remember Where They Were On 9/11

March 25, 2014 3 comments

????????????????PHILADELPHIA, PA (USA)

The September 11th attacks were one of the darkest days in American history, and for most Americans, that day is forever burned into their memories.  Much like the JFK Assassination, the moon landing, and Pearl Harbor, Americans can all tell you exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news.  However, shocking reports from many of the nation’s middle schools shows that most students, if not all, have no memory of where they were on September 11th, 2001.

Read more…

Categories: The Rob Report

Native American Sports Mascots to Open Indian Casino

September 27, 2012 4 comments


Today in a historic meeting between NFL, MLB, NBA, and collegiate sporting officials, Native American Sports Mascots have been given permission to acquire income through the opening of Indian Casinos that will be placed in select sporting arenas.  This decision comes at the tail end of a decision by North Dakota residents to retire the University of North Dakota’s Fighting Sioux mascot and iconography.  Read more…

Categories: Archive, The Rob Report

Republican Party to Change Its Name to The Xfinity Party

August 22, 2012 Leave a comment


Leading GOP members have announced the rebirth of the Republican Party, stating that the party as a whole will be dropping the label “Republican” and adopting the new/hip term Xfinity. Leading political analysts believe the switch is a direct result of low rated customer service dating back to the 2000 election, which has resulted in a decade of The Republican Party polled one of the top two hated political parties in America. Shortly after the 2008 election, many prominent conservative personalities like Glenn Beck tried switching to parties with similar small government ideologies, such as The Tea Party and The Libertarian Party. However these attempts were largely unsuccessful, as Beck would later say “a rose by another other name would still Hitler the Nine Eleven Fascist Socialism.”

Analysts are unsure how this recent attempt at re-branding the party will work however, as it seems that all of the services offered by the new Xfinity Party will be exactly the same. “I don’t really see how changing their name to Xfinity is going to change anything.  It’s not like everyone is going to suddenly forget their customer service was terrible, and that they pretend they will save you money but end up jacking up you’re rates when they start a war a year after you sign up. Plus, I really don’t like how they insist on bundle their anti-abortion services together with their small government package. ”  The change is being planned almost immediately, and Mitt Romney is expected to back the new change at this year’s Xfinity National Convention in Tampa Florida, accepting the party’s nomination while dressed as one of the “X-men.”

Categories: Archive, The Rob Report

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