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		<title>Travolta and Cruise Headline New Blockbuster: Two Actors, One Cup</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/24/travolta-and-cruise-headline-new-blockbuster-two-actors-one-cup/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/24/travolta-and-cruise-headline-new-blockbuster-two-actors-one-cup/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 May 2012 19:11:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[cruise]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[hollywood]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[john travolta]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=998</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HOLLYWOOD, CA (USA) After years of the audience being forced to swallow mediocre story lines and CGI&#8217;ed heterosexuality, payback is on the horizon as Hollywood mainstays John Travolta and Tom Cruise sign on to literally eat shit. &#8220;We&#8217;re both very excited and can&#8217;t wait for the public to finally see us like they&#8217;ve wanted to for years,&#8221; Travolta said [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=998&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>New Protest Group Forms to Protest NATO Protesters</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/21/new-protest-group-forms-to-protest-nato-protesters/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/21/new-protest-group-forms-to-protest-nato-protesters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 May 2012 14:13:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=992</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CHICAGO, IL (USA) A new protest group has developed in downtown Chicago seeking to protest the current activities of those protesting this weekend’s NATO summit. “I hate protesters,” says Make Radcliff, who traveled here from Portland, Oregon to take a stand against the NATO protesters. “They tie up traffic and make fools of themselves at [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=992&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Swiss Army To Add Roach Clip To Knife</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/21/swiss-army-to-add-roach-clip-to-knife/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/21/swiss-army-to-add-roach-clip-to-knife/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 May 2012 14:03:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[swiss army knife]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=987</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ZURICH, SWITZERLAND For the first time in over 100 years Victorinox, the Swiss Army knife company, is adding a new feature to its famed knife – a roach clip. The idea to add the marijuana joint extension helper came during a convention for retired Swiss Army officers in Amsterdam. When it became apparent a corkscrew [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=987&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>NY Knicks to Represent Yemen in 2012 Olympics</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/11/ny-knicks-to-represent-yemen-in-2012-olympics/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/11/ny-knicks-to-represent-yemen-in-2012-olympics/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 May 2012 13:48:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[knickerbockers]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[new york knicks]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=978</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SANA&#8217;A, YEMEN The Yemenis basketball team, slated to make its first Olympic appearance in  London this summer, suffered a tragic setback this week when the entire starting roster was put on trial for political dissidence. Forced to choose between forfeit and finding an equally talented roster of replacements the final solution came down to the New York Knickerbockers basketball club. &#8220;We [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=978&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/11/ny-knicks-to-represent-yemen-in-2012-olympics/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>America Shocked to Discover First African American President Sensitive to Civil Rights Issues</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/09/america-shocked-to-discover-first-african-american-president-sensitive-to-civil-rights-issues/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/09/america-shocked-to-discover-first-african-american-president-sensitive-to-civil-rights-issues/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2012 20:46:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>robdcomedy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Gay Marriage]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[North Carolina]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Obama Evolution Gay Marriage]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=971</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON DC, D.C. (USA) Today President Barack Obama voiced his displeasure with the citizens of North Carolina, who voted to ban same sex marriage on Tuesday.  Pro Gay Marriage groups had pushed forth a strong initiative to win over citizens in North Carolina, including sponsoring a hot pink car in NASCAR covered in glitter.  Despite [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=971&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/09/america-shocked-to-discover-first-african-american-president-sensitive-to-civil-rights-issues/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>MGM Announces Star Trek vs. Rocky: The Wrath of Arthritis</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/08/mgm-announces-star-trek-vs-rocky-the-wrath-of-arthritis/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/08/mgm-announces-star-trek-vs-rocky-the-wrath-of-arthritis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 May 2012 13:52:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[star trek]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=965</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[LOS ANGELES, CA (USA) In the tradition of Godzilla versus King Kong, the teaming of two giant film franchises was announced today in what the studio hopes will be the next big blockbuster – “Star Trek vs. Rocky: The Wrath of Arthritis.” Although script details remain hush-hush, a source reports it all begins when Captain [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=965&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/08/mgm-announces-star-trek-vs-rocky-the-wrath-of-arthritis/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Madonna: Like A Virgin or Is A Virgin</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/03/madonna-like-a-virgin-or-is-a-virgin-3/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/03/madonna-like-a-virgin-or-is-a-virgin-3/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 May 2012 16:39:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=960</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[TULSA, OK (USA) In what was described as the Miracle at Marie Calendars after a waitress’s narcoleptic fit caused a major Boysenberry Pie stain to occur on one of the restaurant’s walls. Immediately, customers began debating whether it looked like the Madonna, Jesus’ mother, or Madonna, the pop icon. Within hours competing interests had surrounded [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=960&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/05/03/madonna-like-a-virgin-or-is-a-virgin-3/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Tobacco Industry Reaches New Customers; Begins Marketing “Corpse Cigarettes.”</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/24/tobacco-industry-reaches-new-customers-begins-marketing-corpse-cigarettes/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/24/tobacco-industry-reaches-new-customers-begins-marketing-corpse-cigarettes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:38:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>robdcomedy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tobacco industry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zombie cigarettes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=946</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SALEM, NC (USA)  The tobacco industry has been under scrutiny for many years. The last several decades have been marked by hearings accusing the industry of products causing health issues, marketing to children, and lobbying scandals at the highest ranks of government. Recently they have taken a step in a new direction. They are still making [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=946&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/24/tobacco-industry-reaches-new-customers-begins-marketing-corpse-cigarettes/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Mubarek Joins CurrentTV Line-Up To Host “Party Like Despot”</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/23/mubarek-joins-currenttv-line-up-to-host-party-like-despot/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/23/mubarek-joins-currenttv-line-up-to-host-party-like-despot/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:10:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://globalnewsnetwork.us/?p=942</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[LOS ANGELES, CA (USA) Replacing one egomaniac with another, CurrentTV announced fallen Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak will join its TV Line-up in a new show tentatively called “Party Like A Despot.” The show will replace the canceled “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.&#8221; Mubarak stated, “I need to lay low while awaiting trial and I’m confident nobody [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=942&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Ohio Hangover Victim Swears Off Drinking</title>
		<link>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/19/ohio-hangover-victim-swears-off-drinking/</link>
		<comments>http://globalnewsnetwork.us/2012/04/19/ohio-hangover-victim-swears-off-drinking/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:06:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Editor</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[CLEVELAND, OH (USA) Following a night of binge drinking and charging excessive amounts of money onto his student credit card, Robert Almont of Cleveland, Ohio has sworn off drinking for life. &#8220;I just can&#8217;t keep doing this. My head hurts, I want to puke, it&#8217;s torture. Drinking is not what it was a few years [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=globalnewsnetwork.us&#038;blog=24879618&#038;post=938&#038;subd=globalnewswebsite&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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