Hollywood, California (USA)

With recent events in Haiti, Hollywood’s most talented and brightest washed up losers are banding together for a second go around. In 1985 Michael Jackson teamed up with famed music producer Quincy Jones to shake down, initially just the leading performers of the day but eventually the masses to donate $45 million dollars to help fight AIDS by penning and releasing the hit single We Are The World.

Aids, having already outlived many of the original participants of the We Are The World sensation has taken a back seat to an earth quake that shook the nation of Haiti several weeks ago. Registering 7.0 on the Richter scale, the quake ripped the ground apart reminding Haitians that there do in fact exist lower depths of hell, as opposed to just the one they reside in on Earth.

News outlets have been broadcasting footage of homeless nude Haitian children roaming the rubbled streets of post destruction. This prompted an immediate response from recently deceased entertainer Michael Jackson.

The decaying star had this to say, “I could not just sit down and watch what was going on. I had to do something, I had to act.” Mr. Jackson began the laborious task of assembling the original talents associated with the famous track. “I searched the afterworld for days only to discover Bob Dylan was in fact still alive.”

First to sign on board with the reunion was Dan Akroyd. This almost prompted an immediate collapse of the project but Huey Lewis and Kenny Loggins assured everyone that “shit would be cool. Come on you guys.”

The project is slated for completion late next week with a release date in the vicinity of Fall 2011. Record label executives are confident the project will proceed smoothly and that release dates will not need to be pushed back, however “that is still a possibility.”