BEVERLY HILLS, CA (USA)

After a decade long search the body of Val Kilmer was found this morning in his place of residence. He was found alive and well and reportedly unaware of the fact that people thought he was missing. According to a statement released earlier today from the District Attorney’s office: when authorities rushed into the Beverly Hills residence they found the once famous actor “eating a sandwich” and “watching The Doors” on blue ray DVD and “somewhat startled.”

“I’ve made like fifteen movies since Heat,” Kilmer had to say during police interviews, “nobody saw them?” The mention of the movie Heat immediately reminded the public of what the fine actor was once capable of and spurned an immediate search for the freshly declared missing person. This search concluded an hour later again at Mr. Kilmer’s residence where he was again found alive and well and enjoying what was believed to be a second sandwich.

Although fans are celebrating across the country there is however mixed emotion amongst public opinion. One San Diego resident described his bittersweet attitude, “it’s great that they found him alive but he can’t ever be the same, not after going through an experience like that.” It is believed that Mr. Kilmer will enter a psychiatric program to help him cope with the post-traumatic stress of being held captive for so long from loved ones, friends, and good career choices.

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