Amidst Budget discussions among lawmakers, Obama addressed the nation Monday evening to try and address the current partisan divisions between parties. “Many Americans feel that the burden of this budget crisis lies on democrats and republicans,” said Obama Monday evening, “however, Americans also have to do their part. The dollar is only valuable if people think it is valuable. We all have to do our part, every night I want you to close your eyes, and wish really really hard.” Obama then yielded the floor to the newly appointed Treasury Secretary, Frosty the Snowman.

House Speaker John Boehner, a key figurehead in the GOP during the Budget crisis, took little time to jump on what he described as “The President relying on fantasy instead of providing valid rational decision-making.” Boehner went on to say “President Obama is resorting to asking Americans to close their eyes and make wishes as some sort of master plan on how to fix the economy. I believe this plan of action is a perfect example of the lack of valid ideas displayed by the Obama administration.” When asked what path would best fix the budget crisis, Boehner replied “Praying to Jesus of course.”

Republican Congressman Ron Paul came forward with a less popular idea involving eliminating the Fed, and strengthening the American dollar by backing it with gold found on the alien home world of Zakus IV. This idea has been widely rejected however. “Aliens?” said newly elected Treasury Secretary Snowman, “That’s just stupid.”

Rob DeSantis