MEK’ELE, ETHIOPIA

Assefa Abate, president of production at the Mek’ele Broadcasting Station declared today a marked change in direction for the network, “we can no longer be last in the world and have decided to make the move into reality television.” The new flagship show has been unveiled to be an African version of the popular American show Man vs. Food. “It will be entirely original though,” Abate continued, “in our version man doesn’t eat the food, but rather competes with it.” In each episode a hungry contestant is paired with a Gazelle and the competition centers around which will eat that night.

Controversy is already circulating over news that for the current first 38 episodes filmed, Man generally had the upper hand. “Either the human contestants are too hungry or the Gazelles just aren’t hungry enough,” Abate explained. He promised that the African’s would not be fed as to not tamper with the integrity of the show however when played with the issue of feeding the animals less was met with strong opposition from animal rights groups such as PETA.

Group spokesperson Janet Eckstein released this statement on behalf of her organization, “we will not allow for animals to be treated in an inhuman fashion. We will use everything at our disposal to negotiate a better solution to the ratings problem.” After several hours of negotiations network head Assefa Abate released news that for the second season of the show the harmless Gazelles would predominantly be replaced with averagely fed Leopards and an occasional Alligator. Ratings are believed to sky rocket for the show as the life expectancy in the impoverished region is surprisingly believed to be unaffected. “Aids is pretty bad,” was the explanation by a Virginia man who would never dare visit the region.

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