Once home to the Black Panthers, is now home to new health food mega emporium By Any Beans Necessary. The day of its grand opening, the traffic from San Francisco shut down the Oakland Bay Bridge, though it was remarkably quiet as the Prius is silent under 15mph.

Gordon McSwiggins, area farmer and CSA manager, says the emporium is one of a kind because it reaches out to local farmers and producers in addition to corporate health food companies. McSwiggins adds, “By Any Beans Necessary will do to health food what Apple computers did to the PC, as in, it will put great products out of reach for the casual consumer. I’m very excited.”

By Any Beans Necessary seeks to unite the Oakland community. The employees are trained not to judge customers by the color of their skin, or the content of their character, but by the balance of their check book. Malik Shabazz, community organizer, had the following to say, “I think at this point the black community is in disbelief. I don’t think we ever thought white guilt would ever get this far. The upshot is that during February Frenzy, all products will only be three-fifths of their original price. So, there’s that.”

The mega-market offers popular black empowerment food stuffs like Steve Bilko O’s, black rice, Fred Hampton’s Pigs in a Blanket, Rodney King Crab legs, and black milk. The products are a happy addition to such controversial blacksploitation foods like Michael Cracker Jackson caramel corn and Bobby Brownies.

Noah Odabashian