PHILMONT, PA (USA)

The economic collapse has forced many male laborers to work longer hours in an unsuitable environment— home. After his lay-off in January, Jeff Bracken of Philmont, PA complains, “the hours are longer, the noise from all the kids is overbearing, and I no longer receive dirty e-mails from colleagues.” Other stay-at-home dads complain of stress and brown bagging lunches. When asked about the recent crisis, fellow protestor Fredrick Gerard spoke out, “I had to give up five of my beers last week to put in Ricky’s lunchbox. Damn son-of-a-bitch probably traded for a Capri Sun. Asshole.”

The difficult working conditions have provoked Bracken, Gerard and other neighborhood deadbeats to picket outside of their own development. “Most of the time cars see us they just keep driving. Sometimes I get up to throw stuff at them but mostly I just don’t feel like it. Other times, like if it’s a hot chick, we’ll do some catcalling just to get laid. It only worked about eight or nine times though,” Gerard describes.

When asked about her husband’s affairs, Kathy Gerard told reporters, “He ain’t getting laid. He’s got five kids and no job. I won’t even sleep with him. And if you see him, tell him to come in and get the trash.”

The unionization contract has a long way to go, but in the meantime these dads look forward to lying on lawn chairs and doing nothing for the next few months.

Kerri Danay
kerridanay@gmail.com

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