LOS ANGELES, CA (USA)

In a study conducted over the past few years, scientists believe that ingesting food may be detrimental to your health. “The risks involved with food are enormous,” says Dr. Ripley (FDA) “it almost always has calories, carbs, fat, salts, and other substances that can harm your body.”

Not to mention most obesity problems today arise by individuals consuming food. Buffets are especially dangerous, where food runs rampant. There’s no limit to the food you can consume at one of these establishments, making in a ticking time bomb which could lead to thirst, lethargy, and/or diabetes.

For those to can’t seem to wean themselves off of food entirely, Dr. Hannah (Dietsansfood.com) has given some advice: “Limit food intake to only three times a day. Do not try to each just one food item.” Dr. Hannah then recalled a girl from Phoenix who was eating solely hot dog buns for days. “Not only is this behavior reckless, but downright suicidal.”

The Food and Drug Administration has issued an illustrated guide to help you avoid food. Deemed the food triangle, this chart gives a thorough image of the different types of food, so any individual can identify and eliminate these items from their diet.

Some people have taken these warnings to heart and have cut down dramatically on their consumption of food. Teenage girls especially: who use both bulimia and anorexia as suitable weapons for the war against food. Infants are performing well: they consume less food than any other demographic.

The FDA will make further adjustments to the triangle to accommodate beverages. “However, we can tell you right now, water has been a notorious liquid, which has been linked to fullness, excessive urination, and drowning. We can expect to see water on the triangle soon.”

Phil Biedron
philbiedron@gmail.com

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