Dick Cheney released a new book this week, entitled “In My Time,” which he has claimed will change the political landscape, and have “heads exploding.” Many have speculated that Cheney would reveal information about the 9/11 attacks on America, which conspiracy theorists have claimed for almost 10 years Cheney was involved. Early impressions of the book have many shocked, as Cheney openly admits to masterminding the attack, all due to the fact he owned a majority stock in the company that makes those “miniature American Flag things…”

Every since the official 911 report was released, many doubters came forward with disputes as to the official government report, stating the report did not accurately explain the destruction of tower 7, and such inaccuracies had spawned a host of conspiracy theories. However, of all the widely accepted theories, none of them implicated Cheney is holding a controlling interest in a miniature American Flag manufacturing company. “We all knew he was behind it somehow,” said Howard Johnson, lead editor of 911truth.org, “But we thought the profiteering was based on oil, or American profiting on the defense industry…not…miniature American Flags! Oh My God…I bought like…20 of those things!!!”

Cheney in the book states that President George W. Bush was kept in the dark about this plan, and that the only other person to know about the plan was Harry Whittington, a man who Cheney “accidentally” shot in the face during a quail hunt in 2006. “Harry was going to blab the truth…but I shut him up good!” says Cheney in his book, “I wasn’t worried about people knowing the truth, I was worried about people not buying this book!”

Rob DeSantis