WASHINGTON DC. D.C. (USA)
Herman Cain, after rampant accusations of sexual harassment has elected to drop his bid for the Republican nomination for President of the United States of America. Cain has since stated that his reputation in the business community may be too damaged to return to his previous duties, and has elected to accept and offer to star in the upcoming TV reboot of cult blaxploitation character Shaft.
“I have to consider my options,” said Cain in and exclusive GNN interview, “and right now the American people see me as a strong black man with attitude who loooooooooooves the pussy. Who better to play Shaft? Besides, ‘It’s my duty to please that booty’ was going to be my original campaign slogan before my campaign manager talked me out of it.
Cain stated that he was going to use many of Shaft’s classic one liners, such as “When you lead your revolution, whitey better be standing still because you don’t run worth a damn no more,” and “Don’t let your mouth get your ass in trouble. “ However, he is excited at the opportunity to try and incorporate some of his own one liner’s, such as “Girl I got some pepperoni for that pizza,” as well as “YOU GONNA SERVE 9-9-9 TO LIFE MOTHA FUCKA!!!”