NEW YORK, NY (USA)
As of 6:45 in the PM it is being reported that a Brooklyn resident has posted several pictures of her pet yorkie wearing what appear to be Ray Ban sunglasses. Linda McKenzie defended her actions, “he was just so cute, I had to. Pink Floyd is the best dog ever!” Authorities led Ms. McKenzie out of her second floor apartment in handcuffs freeing her friends from yet another evening of having to listen to how “men suck.” McKenzie has already hit on several officers and an inmate but no dates have been scheduled.
This story follows a string of others in what is beginning to be referred to as an epidemic. Overpaid psycho analyst Jonathan Taub attempted to explain this phenomenon, “puppies are in fact very cute, they also weight very similar to a baby. Much like the baby that these women feel no man would ever want to have with them.”
In related news the price of happy hour cocktails is expected to almost double as men are notorious for being able to smell even as little as a drop of desperation in two square miles of open water. Warning signs for women are being listed as protruding fins, thrashing in the water, and compliments.