INDIANAPOLIS, IN (USA)

Just hours before Superbowl XLVI, NFL insiders are reporting that Eli Manning isn’t leaving anything to chance in his second Superbowl facing arguably the best Quarterback of all time, Tom Brady.  Manning has reportedly reached out to Bronco’s Quarterback Tim Tebow, and has asked if he could borrow Jesus Christ for a day, who helped Tim Tebow win multiple games during the season.

“I didn’t quite understand what he was asking me,” said Tebow.  “I mean was he asking me to pray for him?  To be honest with you, Eli is kind of hard to understand when he gets excited.  I mean, there are a few things that Jesus COULD do for him I guess, like maybe turn all of the Patriots Gatorade to wine so they get drunk and can’t play, or maybe convince The Church that marrying a supermodel is a sin so they stone Tom Brady to Death?  Either way, I’m not even sure if the J-man is a G-men fan…”

When asked for comment, Eli Manning was quoted as saying “My brother Payton got me a coloring book!!!!  I colored everything blue, because that’s what the G in G-men stands for…BLUE!”  Eli then put on his Giants helmet and said “This is my TV helmet!!!  I like it better than my at home helmet!!!”

 

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