DALLAS, TX (USA)

The Texas primary was considered to be an important one and the results came in early at around 10pm. With the Cookie Monster’s decisive ten point win over Mitt Romney, the GOP race has been widened yet again. “It’s anyone’s game,” a voter had to say. When asked what was it about the Cookie Monster that made him a viable candidate the response was simple, his strong anti-abortion, pro-cookie stance. “You just don’t see that from the other candidates.”

The Cookie Monster spoke at a press conference at 10:30pm graciously thanking his supporters and stating that he will continue to all fifty states. Although charismatic and experienced, some are worried that the Cookie Monster’s troubled past might come back to haunt him.

The Monster’s humble roots began on Sesame Street, an impoverished community located in Brooklyn, New York. He was tried and found not guilty in 1998 for the murder of local junkie, Snuffaluffagus. If his momentum continues he would be the first African American GOP candidate and only the second in the countries history to run in the general election.

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