NEW YORK CITY, NY (USA)
28 Days Later after Jeremy Lin has made an impact in the NBA, media outlets have been reporting on the wide spread Linsanity in New York City, and slowly spreading to New Jersey, Long Island, Pennsylvania, and Connecticut. With Linsanity spreading, the EPA has classified this as a class 5 outbreak, and has recommended that people in unaffected areas stock up on duct tape and canned goods in case their town starts to show signs of Linsanity. Scientists have been working around the clock, and have discovered the origin of Linsanity being traced back to rage Linfested monkeys in a pharmaceutical laboratory in Northern Jersey.
The EPA has recently reported a discovery that Linsanity is being spread by infected humans biting uninfected humans. This could mean that the virus is spread in the saliva, and could potentially be spread through other bodily fluids. Citizens are urged to keep their distance from any Linsane individuals, but if trapped in a corner, those with Linsanity can be stopped by bashing the head and killing the brain.
Remember, those with Linsanity may look human, they may be those people closest to you, who you have loved and cherished, but there is no cure for Linsanity, and many are saying Linsane people are in many ways already dead. Protect yourself at all times, and if you have been bitten, isolate yourself immediately. Symptoms of Linsanity include believing the New York Knicks have a shot at winning a championship, trying to think of clever sometimes racist Jeremy Lin puns, and an overwhelming desire to eat brains.
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