The International Space Object Naming Registry announced original 1960’s Star Trek co-star George Takei now has an asteroid named after him. When Takei was told of the honor that makes him officially a heavenly body, he remarked in his usual good natured baritone: “Wow, I’m now so far out of the closet I’m in outer space.” Asked if Takei was the first openly gay person to have an object in outer space named after them, a Registry spokeswoman said, “No, one of the Gemini twins. Gay. Orion… let’s just say his arrow went both ways. And, don’t get us started on the origins of Uranus.”

The registry also announced that a comet was being named after Paris Hilton. Mostly, because it apparently has no real purpose, appeared out of nowhere and no one can figure out how to get rid of it.

Paul Lander