For the first time since the Great Smile of 1974 a Chinese citizen has defied government regulation and exhibited what western cultures refer to as emotions. “He frowned however rumors are already circulating that there was a tear,” reported GNN field correspondent Neil Thisdale. “Although it is not known at this time if there will be judicial action against the individual however what is certain is that he will probably be slaughtered in a prison camp that America doesn’t know about because China is in fact secretive Communist government.”

Xing Chen Li, or Howie as he is known by his friends, began to show signs of remorse after his first shift working at a local pig farm. Never having experienced death Howie was overcome by emotion at the site of a butcher skinning an infant pig. His own slaughter is expected to occur at the same farm and most likely by the same butcher.