LOS ANGELES, CA (USA)

The American Diabetes Society released a study showing a direct link between listening to Barry Manilow songs and diabetes. Scientists played the song “Mandy” over and over again to one group of lab rats, fed another group only “Coco Puffs” cereal and used a control group to perform the study. The rats that were forced to listen to Manilow 24/7 came down with the disease 20% more frequent than the “Coco Puff” rats and 75% more than the control group. Dr. Fritz Koslow who led the study said, “Apparently nothing is more sugary sweet than a Manilow tune. We will be asking that all Manilow tunes come with a warning, ‘I Write The Songs That Make The Whole World Need Insulin.’”

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