Today President Barack Obama voiced his displeasure with the citizens of North Carolina, who voted to ban same sex marriage on Tuesday.  Pro Gay Marriage groups had pushed forth a strong initiative to win over citizens in North Carolina, including sponsoring a hot pink car in NASCAR covered in glitter.  Despite those efforts, the ban was still passed by a majority vote.  Barack Obama is quoted as saying “…I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.” This comes as ground breaking news to many Americas who never suspected that the first black president of the United States was sensitive to civil rights issues.

“It’s a disappointing position for him to take” says Stewart Cromley, Senior Conservative Political Analyst, “because we would have hoped that Barack Obama would have backed the teachings of The Bible, especially when it came to gay marriage.  Because you know…Christians invented marriage. Also, The Bible is actually a very pro Civil Rights book…except the stuff about handicap people, and approving slavery, and really any mention of women. Just don’t read the Old Testament, that’s all the Jews fault anyway…”

Social Network activity has exploded Wednesday afternoon with topics like “GayOK, MarriageEquality, and ThankYouMrPresident.”  Other topics were found such as “GAYNOTOK, IMNOTGAY, and STOPCALLING ME GAY,” but they were all traced back to a mysterious twitter account with the username @NotRickSantorum