After continuing to question the validity of President Obama’s birth certificate, Donald Trump now wants to see the President’s college transcripts. And, he doesn’t plan on stopping there, demanding the President turn over the records from his days as a Boy Scout.

When asked if he had lost contact with reality, Trump harrumphed, “Excuse me, excuse me, but I have friends who have awesome kids who can cook a cordon bleu meal with just flint and spam and half a packet of Splenda and the family domestic helping only a little…” When asked what he was talking about, Trump interrupted, “Excuse me, Excuse me, I hear Obama was the worst camp fire maker and an awful camp fire song singer.” When asked how he knew this? Trump grumbled, “Excuse me, have you ever seen the President lead a cabinet meeting in singing Michael Row Your Boat?” “But…,” When CBS’s Bob Schiefferer started to ask, Trump cut him off: “Excuse me, in my opinion, it’s horrendous and makes him the worst Boy Scout ever. Used to be Steven Hawking… That guy couldn’t build a camp fire but did give instructions on building a nuclear powered cooking range.”

When asked what the President could do to prove he was a good scout, Trump answered: “Excuse me, let’s put it behind us, Mr. President, if that’s who you really are, and lead the next joint session of Congress in a sing-a-long of  “On Top Of Spaghetti” and “She’ll Be Coming Around The Mountain.” Now those are some real awesome campfire songs… ” The White House said the President wishes Mr. Trump had become the Republican nominee, because Trump is one weenie that he would look forward to roasting.

Paul Lander is Writer/Prod and Consult/Producer of XM/Sirius’s “Hey, Get Off My Lawn.”