ukraine naziKIEV, UKRAINE

Feng Shui and other post-modern decorative theories are being cited as the main reasons behind hanging confederate and white supremacist flags in the newly overthrown Parliament. “They really just tie the whole room together,” explained one shirtless member of the paramilitary force, “as for the swastika tattoo on my chest, that’s just for hate.” U.S. President Barack Obama has already threatened Russian leadership and is declaring funds to be transferred to the Ukrainian people, money that is already being allocated for more Nazi memorabilia.

Russian President Vladimir Putin did not release statement but his inner circle is admitting confusion as to the political choices the U.S. government is making. “Usually they support people who become terrorists, like Bin Laden, not terrorist organizations directly,”  Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev declared, “where were they ten years ago?” Following the stylistic choices of the revolution Ikea has announced a new White Power line in their bookshelf and table lamp collections.