sleevesCHICAGO, IL (USA)

Tom Watterson was fired this morning for a series of insubordinations including not getting people angry enough, leaving his community less divided than when he started, and most controversially, not rolling up his sleeves to the required elbow level. The possibility of a lawsuit is already being assessed by the Watterson camp citing discrimination as the sole factor in his release of duties. First hand witnesses are being contacted in the likelihood of a trial. John Davis, general contractor and patron of the Shop Rite Mr. Watterson was known to hand out flyers in front of, had this to say, “although I can’t say his sleeves were rolled up too high I definitely can’t deny that he was intent on trying to rile me up about someone being racist or rich or something.”

The Association for the Betterment of the Association issued what they described as their only statement regarding the matter. “We at the ABA stand firm in our claims that Mr. Watterson deserved to be relieved of his duties. Our policies are fair but unmalleable and as a result must be followed strictly. If you don’t roll your sleeve up to the required level how else will an angry mob know you mean business?”