Following several hours of standing in direct sunlight for no explicable reason, Lindsay Lohan was reported as feeling hot, sweaty, and generally discomforted. When asked why she wouldn’t just step aside into a nearby shaded area the Mean Girls star became belligerent and accused onlookers of conspiracy and jealousy. It was originally reported that Ms. Lohan was in Mexico for a feature film production, however, it quickly became evident to locals that the staged events were for her new reality series titled “Lindsay.”

Lohan continued her antics by shouting obscenities at a surrounding camera crew and accused them, who she referred to as paparazzi, of making her feel like a “prisoner.” The cameramen, wearing “Lindsay” jackets and matching hats were at first confused but then demanded their promised wages.

The premier episode is slated to air March 9th and is based around Lindsay’s private screening of Dallas Buyers Club and subsequent travels to Mexico in search of medicine for an undisclosed sexually transmitted disease.